A shot in the dark

One from within. One from without.

When I began this blog is was turning into a very long diatribe of “poor me – covid screwed me big time’.  Yeah, well, so did it a lot of us, yeh?  MY story is not unique.   

But, I’m not gonna lie.  For awhile there I was scared. 

Scared, that I had lost my passion for making music.  Weeks would go by without touching my guitar.  The sporadic online shows were preceded by nerves that would diminish as the comments came in and I found my footing in the music.  I would spend the entire time trying to read the comments and interact with you only to realize that online interaction is illusive… and frustrating.  When at last I hit “FINISH” the screen would go dark and eventually so would the music until the next awkward attempt.

The looming anniversary of the world shutting down made me stop and consider: if this is the new normal (online shows) I need to get back on that horse – even if it is a merry-go-round – and figure out what happened to the music and how do I fix it.

Which is why, on Feb 17^th, I made the decision to challenge myself to perform daily shows to prove I could still summon that passion thru the passionless online wasteland that - duh! - is populated by human beings.  Each day it got a little easier to get excited about playing and each evening I felt the complacency fall away, the apprehension fade and the passion to perform grow brighter.  Those 28 days of pop-up shows turned everything around for me – mainly, because of you, showing up everyday right along with me as we cheered each other on.

You see, it turns out that my passion is not just music but performing music - for an audience who is there to be passionate with me. To sing, hum, clap along and share in the joy that is music and song because ultimately that is what music is for – to be shared.

I’ve had my first vaccine shot and expect to be fully vaccinated by the end of April.  That one little shot in the arm has eased my mind and allowed me to feel safe in knowing that I can perform wherever, whenever for whomever without fear.

But the real ‘shot in the arm’ was you.