Week #15 – I was working in the lab…

Last week was an INCREDIBLE week! 

First and foremost, the Wife and I celebrated our 4^th year of marriage (14 yrs together) with fruit, flowers and a night out - dinner with friends and a Bruce Cockburn concert at the Englert.  (For once I was in Iowa City for something other than a chemo treatment.)

A bunch of us went to see Halloween: 40 Years Later.  Yep, totally worth it!

Saturday was crazy beautiful outsid

e so I took advantage of wandering around our little Village after surreptitiously excusing myself from my friends watching the Iowa game at our local pub (love you guys but, really, not a big fan of sport, but they know that.)

Funny story… A guy at the bar looked at me and said, “You ride?”  I chuckled to myself and let him know why I was wearing the bandana.  He was apologetic and offered to buy my drink. (I was drinking water ;)

Later that same night I was in the bar restroom when I caught a glimpse of myself in a full-length mirror; black square-tip boots, bell-bottoms, Carhart jean-jacket with the collar turned up, scarf printed with skulls around my neck and a Grateful Dead bandana on my head. Sure as shit – I looked like I “ride”.  Next time I’m going to say, “Yeah, I ride…  Schwinn…3 speed”.

My co-producer has been doing a great job putting together all the pieces for the new album.  The songs are mostly mixed and in order.  We’re sifting thru patter and extemporaneous musings to see what stays and what’s just not as funny as we thought it was that night.  He even sent me the new ring-tone file – woot!

The Wife and I were doing a little mid-century shopping at one of our favorites – Riverbend Retro – and found a new set of groovy cups for our nightly “cuppa”. 

So, yeah, last week was pretty incredible for a lot of reasons. Each day, I hear from friends or meet people who tell me they’re rooting for me.  Each day I try to look for the joy in the simple things. That’s my chemo treat for last week – reminding myself just how amazing my Wife, my friends and my fans have been thru it all and just how lucky I am - extremely, extraordinarily, incredibly lucky.

Week 14 – treatment #5!! Amok, amok, amok!

Five down, ONE to go!

Last week I had to move my treatment from Monday to Thursday because my neutrophil numbers weren’t high enough… again.  But, by Wednesday they were better than good and…BONUS! my CA-125 was TWENTY-NINE which means I’m below the normal level.  This is the kind of good news I really need right now. 

As we’re coming down to the wire and counting down the days I am currently willing my fingertips to stop buzzing and tingling and feeling numb – all at the same time.  Yes, I’m more than just a little freaked but I’m keeping a positive attitude that this too shall pass.  (My toes, on the other hand, are fully engulfed in the chemo-induced neuropathy. boo…)

So, to pass the time and keep my mind off the changes going on with my peripherals I’ve been keeping busy.  I continue working on the new album – mostly some final editing and such.  Last Friday The Wife and I and a few friends went to see the movie, Halloween – 40 Years Later. That Jamie Lee Curtis is a badass!  On Saturday there was a party at a lake house in Lake St Louis, MO for my sister-in-law’s 50^th birthday.  It was beautiful weather all weekend and we certainly made the most of it.  Yesterday was spent on mousework and housework.  (Mousework: That which is done on the computer - I also have a part-time job at a local magazine finding and writing content. Housework: Okay, do you really need me to mansplain housework?)  Today I’m writing this blog while “watching” Hocus Pocus.  I absolutely LOVE this movie…“on TOAST!” – partly, for the horrendous acting by the children (especially Max) and mostly for the brilliant acting by the Sanderson Sisters and Billy.

My chemo treat this week was spending time with my seestur-in-law on her 50th birthday.  (She sent me this pic a few weeks back to let me know she's "rockin' the blue" until I get my hair back.)

I have little over two weeks before my final treatment.  It’s scheduled for Friday, Nov 9^th.  

The intervening days will be spent staying busy, staying positive, striving for good numbers, making music and writing to you all.  The chemo may be lowering my CA-125 but it’s your continued thoughts and wishes that raise my spirits! 

Week 13 – I took my troubles down to Madam Rue…

Today I’m in chemo… no, wait, I would’ve been, but my neutrophil number wasn’t high enough.  No Biggie - I’m set to sit on Thursday.  The thing about nuetrophils – the only thing that can make them better is time and a bump in my protein intake.  Thursday’s treatment will be #5!! I can see the finish line from here!

In the meantime, I had a couple of shows in the lovely hamlet of Trempeleau, Wisconsin this past weekend.  If you’ve never been you should.  There’s an historic hotel that comes complete with ghosts, a lovely view of the Mississippi (and great fishing if you’re into that) a nice little winery and apple orchards galore.  This time around I played the winery and an apple farm.  Both of these venues featured perfect autumnal settings and the only thing missing was perfect autumnal weather.

The sun was shining on us Saturday at Elmaro Vineyard and a brisk breeze kept the bugs away.  (Okay, the bugs were already gone cuz it was 45 degrees out and the breeze was blowing in from the north at a steady 15-20 miles an hour.)   For all that, the patio was filled with happy campers enjoying charcuterie and Chablis. And speaking of campers - just before my last set my wonderful friend, Sue Dickey, and her faithful companion, Gertie, showed up… in an RV!

Since this was an afternoon show it gave us plenty of time to enjoy the evening together.  We headed over to the Historic Trempeleau Hotel for scrumptious walnut burgers and hot chicken pot pie.  After dinner we listened to The Box Band for a set (rootsy folk with a little Grateful Dead thrown in for good measure) then headed back to the campground to sit by the fire catching up, drinking beer (in my case, sipping beer and spilling most of it on the ground) and playing ukulele for each other.  Now, that’s what I call an evening well spent!

Sunday morning she surprised me with a trip to a local attraction, the Kinstone Circle.  Just a few minutes from Trempeleau is this amazing place filled with standing stones, “ancient” buildings and native grass and plants.  It had been raining all morning and when we got there it finally stopped raining…and started snowing.  Weather be damned we entered  Kinstone and walked in awe past impressive natural granite structures, pastoral water features and a Stonehenge-style circle of standing stones – all of it tempered with the mystique of bright, huge, wet snowflakes.  It was our first snowfall of the year – well, at least it was our first snowfall, we can’t speak for Wisconsin.

Sue headed home to MN and I headed to my show at Ecker's Apple Farm.  This is a 4^th generation farm and the apple pies are made with Gramma’s secret recipe.  The apple room smelled of hot cider and home-made ice cream.  (The ice cream must be really good cuz plenty of people were enjoying it on a day where the mercury only topped out at 37.)   I played from the loft and kept the room filled with funky folk and seasonal songs.  I left there also filled with 2 bags of Haralsons, a gallon of cider, gramma’s apple pie and warm memories of a weekend spent with a good friend.

That’s my chemo treat for the week – Sue Dickey, my “home away from home”.  Dude, thanks for being there and for the bonus treat of Kinstone!

Week 12 – Got a Devil’s Haircut in my mind…

This last week was…well, pretty normal; a couple of shows, a couple of guitar lessons, some yard work - normal.  Maybe one of the best parts about last week was the fact that October has officially begun and my shows have started to include Halloween themed songs; Anne Boleyn and the Bloody Tower, Big Red Man, Werewolves of London, I’m a Vampire,  Eat Your Brains just to name a few.

I like singing Halloween songs.  I like dressing up in costumes. I like being scared.

I’m still at a loss for what my costume will be – Telly Savalas, Ernst Stavro Blofeld, Sinead O’Connor or maybe I should go the other direction – Bob Ross, Leon Russell, Cousin It.  Of course, none of these prospects are particularly scary but short of a proper costume party to attend for me the real scary stuff happens when handing out candy. 

It all started when my mom spent a Halloween hiding in a box at the front door then popping up whenever someone rang the bell.  She wasn’t even in costume but it scared the kids and a few parents, too.  Ever since I’ve had my own place I’ve enjoyed finding ways to scare trick-or-treaters.  Spooky sounds played thru a guitar amp with the reverb cranked, flashing lights, a candelabra with bloodied tapers glowing on a table and plenty of dirty, ragged cheese-cloth and spider webs.

One of my favorite experiences of handing out candy was when I lived in a house that had an enclosed porch.  I prepped the porch in the usual scary manner but this year I added a touch of flair I hadn’t tried before – I removed the small window just to the right of the porch door and covered the opening in spider webs.  Garbed in a hooded cloak, bony gloves and mask I waited for the kids to come to the door.  At the sound of the doorbell I would slowly emerge from my hiding place and approach the window (cue the lightning, thunder and howling).  With slow deliberation I pushed my hand full of candy thru the webbed portal.  The webbing obediently stretched out towards the kids in sufficient eeriness as I watched the children’s inner struggle between, “that’s really creepy and I’d like to leave now but that’s a handful of candy”.  Victory. 

Our current home doesn’t attract a lot of kids due to the sparseness of immediate neighbors coupled with living on a steep hill.  I don’t know about you but when I was a kid free candy was free candy no matter how far or how hard the trek.  But, then again, I grew up in a time that allowed for one house to offer hot apple cider and homemade popcorn balls and no one blinked an eye. 

I’ve grown lazy the last few years by this lack of sugar-inspired vigor.  In my grumpiness I haven’t had the energy to celebrate the season properly.  So, this year I’m going back into the coffers to try to entice the children to my door once again with my usual horrific élan; scary sounds, flashing lights and a portal covered in spider webs.  Wish them luck.

My chemo treat this week was enjoying my wife’s homemade stew while watching the cultish horror film, The Cabin in the Woods.  It was just the right amount of scare and camp to start the season off right!  

Week #11 – A day of rest….

Monday was my chemo treatment.  6 hours in “the chair” but this time with a window…bonus!  We also got the great news that my CA-125 levels have been steadily dropping with each treatment and are currently sitting just a few numbers above normal…extra bonus!!

Tuesday we watched season 4, episode 1 of Halloween Baking Championship.  (Tonight we will watch season 8, episode 1 of Halloween Wars….buwahahaha!)

Wednesday I brought home Whitey’s ice-cream as a surprise when my 6 o’clock student canceled.  The evening progressed and so did the bone-crushing ache.

Thankfully I now take a daily regimen of Gabapentin to make the pain so much more tolerable, not totally gone but, tolerable.  Unfortunately, over the last couple of weeks I’ve noticed that my feet have started to show increased signs of neuropathy – they feel as if I’ve walked for miles in shoes that were too tight - and now that feeling is all the time.  Fortunately, my constant teaching and gig schedule seems to have kept my hands from the same fate as my feet. 

Thursday I headed out for a “Tiny Tour” (far enough away to need an overnight – in this case 3 nights in Des Moines). I arrived to the hotel early and took my time getting ready. (After the long drive it was nice to just relax for a bit.) That night I played in Ft Dodge, a town I’ve played before but tonight at a brand new venue, Shiny Top Brewing.  They treated me very well, including providing a PA and sound guy – the same guy who convinced his uncles (the “shiny tops”) to have live music and 18 months later it’s still going and growing!

It was a long drive back to the hotel that night.  The BCA is always worse at night (mostly because I only take my dose night) so I was glad for the hotel room…and the Doctor Who marathon!  300mgs of Gabapentin, 10mgs of Melatonin and 5mgs of a Colorado edible and I drifted off to sleep in no time.

Friday I woke up…kinda.  The ‘gaba’ makes me a bit groggy in the morning and today I was really feeling the BCA more than usual.  I took another gaba and laid in bed for as long as I could – watching Dr Who and drifting in and out of sleep.  I finally got hungry enough to get dressed and headed out with an idea of grabbing something quick for lunch and going to the movies - House with a Clock in the Walls…I drifted in and out of sleep during the movie, too, but not because of the gaba. 

That night I had show #2 so, back to the hotel, got myself ready and grabbed some dinner on the way.  When I arrived at the venue I was told it was double booked and that I wasn’t needed.  The owner gave me my full pay and sent me home.  I went back to the hotel, took my evening ministration, got back in bed, turned on Dr Who and thanked my lucky stars for a night off.

Here’s the thing about me.  When I’m playing music, when I have a show no matter how I feel – sad, sore, tired, bone-crushing ache – the music makes that all go away.  For those few hours I’m on stage I’m not sad, or sick or tired.  The music energizes me, it lifts my spirits, it makes the world a happy place and all I care about is the music.  That’s why I haven’t stopped playing gigs – its one of the few things in my life right now that makes me feel normal.

Saturday was a two-fer!  I laid abed as long as I could then got dressed, packed and headed out to my first show.  I played a cool little “vintage” craft fair on a miserable, cold, rainy day and it didn’t matter because I was going to play a show!  (Lucky too, for the few folks who’d been turned away from my Friday venue – especially that lot from MN!!)  It was only an hour show but I had time to walk around the fair and had a scrumptious cinnamon-sugar-honey woodfired pizza and hot apple cider.  It doesn’t get more autumnal than that!

After my afternoon show I headed to my evening show – a blessedly easy show.   A blessedly easy show because the audience is always attentive and the show is from 6-9p – easy!  The evening was capped off by the company of friends.  Their presence at my show was special to me for a number of reasons.  One, because they’re old friends of my wife – I met them many years ago and now count them as friends of mine.  Two because they are just about the nicest people I know.  Three, because they brought their extended family to the show – 8 people who were in town for a baptism.  In fact, it was for this reason I was staying in a hotel. 

You see, when I asked the Leahy’s for a stay-over at their place for the weekend Dana told me they had family staying at the house...so, she booked a hotel for me.  I tried to refuse, saying there were others I could call but she insisted, saying it was the least they could do.  It was the gift of this hotel room that made this tiny tour with this bone-crushing ache a blessing in disguise.

My chemo treat this week was a room of my own - a respite for my body and soul.  Thank you, Dana and John.