Week 12 – Got a Devil’s Haircut in my mind…

This last week was…well, pretty normal; a couple of shows, a couple of guitar lessons, some yard work - normal.  Maybe one of the best parts about last week was the fact that October has officially begun and my shows have started to include Halloween themed songs; Anne Boleyn and the Bloody Tower, Big Red Man, Werewolves of London, I’m a Vampire,  Eat Your Brains just to name a few.

I like singing Halloween songs.  I like dressing up in costumes. I like being scared.

I’m still at a loss for what my costume will be – Telly Savalas, Ernst Stavro Blofeld, Sinead O’Connor or maybe I should go the other direction – Bob Ross, Leon Russell, Cousin It.  Of course, none of these prospects are particularly scary but short of a proper costume party to attend for me the real scary stuff happens when handing out candy. 

It all started when my mom spent a Halloween hiding in a box at the front door then popping up whenever someone rang the bell.  She wasn’t even in costume but it scared the kids and a few parents, too.  Ever since I’ve had my own place I’ve enjoyed finding ways to scare trick-or-treaters.  Spooky sounds played thru a guitar amp with the reverb cranked, flashing lights, a candelabra with bloodied tapers glowing on a table and plenty of dirty, ragged cheese-cloth and spider webs.

One of my favorite experiences of handing out candy was when I lived in a house that had an enclosed porch.  I prepped the porch in the usual scary manner but this year I added a touch of flair I hadn’t tried before – I removed the small window just to the right of the porch door and covered the opening in spider webs.  Garbed in a hooded cloak, bony gloves and mask I waited for the kids to come to the door.  At the sound of the doorbell I would slowly emerge from my hiding place and approach the window (cue the lightning, thunder and howling).  With slow deliberation I pushed my hand full of candy thru the webbed portal.  The webbing obediently stretched out towards the kids in sufficient eeriness as I watched the children’s inner struggle between, “that’s really creepy and I’d like to leave now but that’s a handful of candy”.  Victory. 

Our current home doesn’t attract a lot of kids due to the sparseness of immediate neighbors coupled with living on a steep hill.  I don’t know about you but when I was a kid free candy was free candy no matter how far or how hard the trek.  But, then again, I grew up in a time that allowed for one house to offer hot apple cider and homemade popcorn balls and no one blinked an eye. 

I’ve grown lazy the last few years by this lack of sugar-inspired vigor.  In my grumpiness I haven’t had the energy to celebrate the season properly.  So, this year I’m going back into the coffers to try to entice the children to my door once again with my usual horrific élan; scary sounds, flashing lights and a portal covered in spider webs.  Wish them luck.

My chemo treat this week was enjoying my wife’s homemade stew while watching the cultish horror film, The Cabin in the Woods.  It was just the right amount of scare and camp to start the season off right!